THE DYSFUNCTIONALS

SERIE 2

MY FRIEND MARIAM

I remember the first time I saw Mariam. I had just joined the NYSC Band CDS group. Mariam sat two seats away from me chatting happily with a friend. She must have caught my stare occasionally because I was there wondering how a lady could be that beautiful, physically endowed and rich. I mean thinking about my status at the time; beautiful, not physically endowed and trying to survive. I was determined to be friends with Mariam.

The next CDS meeting we had, I sat beside Mariam and tried as much to keep a reasonable conversation going but it was clear she wasn't interested in me. Immediately her friend came, she pleaded with me to adjust my seat so her friend could sit beside her. That day, I swore to myself not to go close to her again. I was hurt, sad and devastated. I felt I had been rejected (though that's what happened) and I kept surfing through the previous event to see where I had gone wrong. I know I had the gloom till the end of the meeting.

Forward to four months later when a mutual friend was celebrating his birthday. He called to ask if I could assist with the preparations and I agreed to. On getting to the venue, I found out Mariam was the lady in charge. There I was, asking myself if this was a bad idea. Well, we worked together, I did my part and everybody got hosting at a point. That was when I changed my thought about Mariam. Mariam and I began bonding in a special kind of way. Like we had known ourselves for a very long time.

It wasn't up to two weeks since I started bonding with Mariam before people started talking (and with what I've learnt in life, people will always talk. Some because they have a mouth, some because they have something to say and others because they just want to talk. In all, people must talk); telling me stuff about how Mariam jumps from bed to bed sleeping with men for financial benefits and all. I wasn't bothered, probably because I didn't want to believe or because I already had this inbuilt thought that Mariam is from a rich family.

I mean, her apartment was touché; everything a young lady needed was in it. Her appearance was always like that of a queen; adorned with sweet smelling fragrance. How could it then be possible that this sweet, gentle lady could be involved in such. Mariam and I got closer by the day. A week to her birthday, she invited me to come spend 2 weeks with her. I was really glad when I received the message because I needed a break from my routine. I agreed, packed my bags and moved to her place. While there, we started preparations for her birthday party.

One night, I received a call from an older married man who was asking me to be his girlfriend. After the call, Mariam asked me what was getting me angry; I told her everything from when I met the man till that day. She left her cooking, came and sat beside me and said "my dear, that's how we survive". At that point, I wasn't sure it was my friend talking. Within me, I was doing multiple checks to be sure. She went on to tell me how she's been catering for herself and her family with the financial benefits she received from these men. I just sat there in complete bewilderment. I was trying to convince myself it was all a lie.

Then she went on to tell me about her family. Her mother got pregnant out of wedlock and her parents were angry. When the man responsible (Mariam's father) came to ask for her hand in marriage, her parents chased them away and said they never want to see him anywhere close to their daughter. As I write this, Mariam still doesn't know her father. Her mother got to marry another man who didn't want Mariam staying in his house so she had to grow up with her grandparents. Her grand father died some years later and she was left in the care of her grandmother. Her mother got involved in an accident which cost her her ability to walk. Her mother's husband got tired of catering for a paralyzed woman and sent her back to her parents. The burden of catering for both mother and grandmother was placed on Mariam's shoulders.

As a young lady struggling to get an education, she decided that having sex with men for financial gains was the only way out.

I do not condemn nor judge my friend Mariam not because I like what she does but because circumstances have placed her in a position where she had to choose a way out and she chose what worked for her. I've visited my friend in her family house several times. I see the burden she has to carry and I can't help but say she's a strong woman. I mean she literally feeds, clothes and pay bills for the family. The shocking part of it all is, she doesn't have a regular job and nobody bothers to ask where the money comes from. What do they care anyway; as long as they're comfortable. It's not their body, the multiple abortions isn't theirs; the pain, the shame and the hurt doesn't affect them.

I really do not know what has become of Mariam as we lost touch a long time ago. I do not know if she's still running a race she started at a tender age of 14 but one thing I know is that she's a fighter and that can never change.

-The PenAddict