A strange Night in Lagos, Nigeria

Walking around this city I find myself in this late at night is quite dangerous but the allure of some danger is quite better than sitting at home and churning through the thoughts that would be ravaging my mind all night. It did seem like a crazy idea when I slipped on my casual slippers and started opening the gate but a couple of streets from the house and the idea starts looking not so bad after all, I'm feeling a lot better already. It must be the fresh cool breeze of the night or the stars or maybe the moon but whatever it is; it’s got me feeling lighter already.

What was that? Footsteps!!! But whose? Doesn't sound like one person's footfalls, sounds like about four people...but whose? I ask myself once again, running at this time of the night? What do I do? Do I look for somewhere to hide? Do I run also? My heart is pounding and I realize I am panicking, no this is not me, I have to calm down and walaaa!!! It’s just like magic, as soon as I think about being calm, I find out I'm as calm as the night itself. Then it hits me, the footfalls are getting closer. I step to the side in the front of a truck parked to the right side of the road, the truck casts a much needed shadow close to the gutter and believe it or not but that’s the spot where I find myself crouching. I start thinking to myself, "maybe it was a crazy idea stepping outside at this time of the night", I should have just stayed in my room. The steps are coming closer and closer, then it starts getting mixed up, like all the steps are scratching somewhat just as they come into view. I can't believe what I'm seeing, its young lady being hassled by two hoodlums. From her dressing I can hardly tell if she is a working lady or a lady of the night but it does seem like she tried to outrun these thugs but with the situation unfolding before my eyes, it is quite obvious she wasn't successful. They seem to be trying to getting something from inside the lady's handbag rather than take the entire hand bag. OMG!!! Am I truly seeing this? Should I step out and help this young lady? Should I really? I take a look just to be sure, OMG one of the thugs does have a gun...ahh this night just got even worse. I quickly duck back into the shadows. These blokes have got the lady's phones and some other stuff I can't really make out but from what I am seeing, it does seem like they are getting set to rape this helpless young lady for good measure. C'mon!!! What the hell? I can't hide here and let this happen, but what can I do? They are armed. They are pulling at her clothes and I can hear them start to rip, nooo...I can't let this happen. I step out from the shadow and smack it hits me, I stupidly stepped out without even thinking up a plan...What to do? What to do? I got 2 secs to think something up, and then I hear someone scream out HEY!!! It was quite loud, really high pitched. Who was that? OMG that was me, ok I got hey out of my mouth, then what else? Then I go ahead to shout over here!! Over here!! See thieves!!! Catch them!! Catch them!! And like its some words from a great sorcerer it works, just like magic they are up and running, I assume they think I have some sort of back up so they take to their heels. I walk over to the young lady, she has her clothes all ripped up and she is quite visibly shaken. I don't know what to do. First I ask her name, she says, she is Jennifer...ok Jennifer, where are you coming from and where were you headed and how did you come by those thugs? Well she seems to be coming from a late night at the office and the cab seemed to have broken down in the area which is still pretty far from where she is heading to and was looking for an alternate means of transport when these thugs came upon her. 
Well I can't let her continue on her way in the state she is in. She is almost naked and scared out of her mind. I tell her my name and that I am going to take her back home with me...Hmmm I do not know if to say the night just got better again, but I find myself suddenly talking like a hero. She can barely get to her feet and I have to pick up her shoes and carry them by hand, but as soon as she stands up, she manages to walk with me the not too short distance back to my place.

As I open the gate to let us in I think to myself that the story of tonight has just taken a whole new turn.....To be continued

Under The Influence Of "Dr." Okupe (Thy Brother's Keeper)

I read in the Sun Newspaper of Saturday, 11th August GEJ saying that the reason he can't be hard on the dreaded Boko Haram sect is because they are his (not ours) 'brothers'. Now, what I gathered from that piece is that the newest member of his attack dogs has taught his master a new trick. The trick, like the previous ones, is fashioned out of deliberate mis-conception, mis-interpretation, and mis-representation. If you think this isn't the case, then explain why Okupe will refer to someone as a younger brother, only to condemn, malign, and impugn on that same person's intelligence in the same breath. Knowing Okupe and how he french-kissed ass, and talked his way into his present employment, we all saw his ranting for what it truly was, a clueless, albeit misguided attack on one perceived to be the enemy so as to please his master, thereby keeping the flow of the bones and scraps from the master's table constant.

Apparently, 'the master' was impressed with the bravado of his latest attack dog, which led him to borrow a few words from the new boy. But being the total personification of the term 'clueless', the master used the borrowed term, 'brother', to the detriment of his already bewildered 'leadership'.

To refer to members of BH as brothers, is so disturbing, disheartening, and discouraging in very many ways to every Nigerian, even to BH themselves. Who does he expect will be pacified by such reasoning? Is it the numerous Muslim and Christian families who have lost irreplaceable loved ones to the group? Or those who have been forcefully displaced and turned into refugees in their state of origins where they ran to in a bid to escape the wrath of the group? Or maybe those of us who are not sure if we would be the next victims of the group while we go about our day to day to activities?

For those of you who would applaud such twisted reasoning of 'the master' by saying that he is being a true Christian, I must say that you've been reading the bible upside down. I do agree that there is no race, religious sect, and ethnic group of human beings, that weren't created by GOD, and that HE also gave the 'Thou shalt not kill' commandment. But, it was the same GOD who directed the people of Israel on very many occasions to totally wipe out their enemies, sparing neither male nor female, young nor old, humans nor livestock. Such directives even came years after the commandments were given. I don't think GOD has changed HIS mind since then.

The BH group, have declared in more ways than one that as far as Nigeria is concerned, they are the enemy within (not counting the members of the cabal and the occupants of the Villa). This enemy is not sparing the young or the old, the high or the lowly, Muslim or Christian, northerner or southerner. Everyone is a potential victim. This is why everyone should be disturbed when 'the master' of the government that is meant to be in charge of securing the lives of the citizenry says that he can't be hard on his 'brothers'. Is he so clueless that he can't appreciate the cost of such a stand? Or does he think he can take such a stand because he and his kind are safe and immune to the fireworks and mayhem of the BH group because they are in the villa? If that is the case, he should be made aware that every innocent blood that is shed, every innocent life that is lost due to his inaction, indecision, incompetence, and ignorance, is on his head. And he will answer for them sooner or later. His attack dogs wont save him when the time comes.

Don't Hold Grudges

Communication!!! Whatever you do as a couple, be it in an affair or marriage; it does not make sense to break down communication lines as the results can only be bitter to both of you. You might think you are fixing him/her but the truth of the matter is you are also fixing yourself. Any day that you don't spend in a jovial mood is a one less day from your God given life that you chose to spend miserable.

Please read this>

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown of Rusape and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby’s father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: “Let’s go fetch mother.” Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: “I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can’t eat flowers!” I smiled and said: “Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better.” Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: “Mum, this is a city-people’s habit; slowly you will get used to it.”

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: “You little fool, just don’t tell her the full price of everything would solve it.” There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her spoon and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children’s Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and “Bam” she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me……. I got mad and asked him: “What did I do wrong?” Hubby stared at me and said: “Can’t you just give in to her once? We couldn’t possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?” After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the “all important” task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: “LD, is it because you think that mum’s cooking is not clean that’s why you chose not to eat at home?” He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: “LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?” I was left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table…….

This is the second part in the quadrilogy – “Don't Hold Grudges”.

Whatever you do as a couple be it in an affair or marriage; it does not make sense to break down communication lines as the results can only be bitter to both of you. You might think you are fixing him/her but the truth of the matter is you are also fixing yourself. Any day that you don't spend in a jovial mood is a one less day from your God given life that you chose to spend miserable.

Here continues my story …..

…….. The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at the low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said: “LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor.” The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn’t hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn’t resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn’t know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: “Darling, I am having your baby!” and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy. What I wanted didn’t happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn’t even withstand the test of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: “Your husband’s mother had a traffic accident and has just dashed off to the hospital.” I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother’s pale white and thin face and I couldn’t control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?

Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her…I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if….In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother’s room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continued, we were living together like strangers who don’t know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart…………

This is the third part in the quadrilogy – “Don’t Hold Grudges”.

Whatever you do as a couple be it in an affair or marriage; it does not make sense to break down communication lines as the results can only be bitter to both of you. You might think you are fixing him/her but the truth of the matter is you are also fixing yourself. Any day that you don't spend in a jovial mood is a one less day from your God given life that you chose to spend miserable.

Here continues my story …..

One day, I passed by a city centre Chicken Inn, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother’s death so did our love for each other.

He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched – he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death. One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: “You wait a while, I will sign.” He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.

As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself “You cannot cry, you cannot cry…” my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby’s eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. “LD, are you pregnant?” Since mother’s accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: “Yes, but it’s ok, you can leave now.” He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated “sorry” to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can’t. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other’s heart. For me, it’s unintentional; for him, totally intentional.

I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don’t take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. >From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother’s room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby’s groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him…………………..

This is the last episode of the quadrilogy “Don’t Hold Grudges” from the prior episodes.

My story …

Almost every day, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, it’s like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain… He smiled, but without opening the tired eyes of his… I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: “Prepare for his funeral.”

I disregarded the nurse’s objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hit me. Hubby’s cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that… the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son: “Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now… I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy’s suggestion….

Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most…” From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me:

“My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby…My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me…These presents, I’m afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give, and when are all written on the packaging… “

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: “Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms…” He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face…. A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever…”Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intent of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny’s secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late.”……….

(culled from Facebook)

Day of Rest!!!

"Friend A: Hope you went to church today.

Friend B (answering with guilt): I couldn't make it...maybe I'ld go in the evening.

Friend A: Na wa for you oh! You done they use stile they miss church abi? You've forgotten that it is the Sabbath day!

Friend B: Abeg don't start...I only needed a rest! I done see you wey be church-goer mtscheeeewwwww!!!"

The above dialogue plays out every blessed sunday amongst friends, siblings, mum and son/daughter, though not in these same words. And this, we all will agree is due to the Biblical injunction in Gen 2: 2-3 which reads: "And on the seventh day God ended his work which He had made; and He rested on the on the seventh day from all His work which He had made. And God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it: because in it He had rested from all His work which God had created and made."

Looking at that bible quotation, we can see that the seventh/sabbath day was declared a day of rest and sanctified as such in that in it, no work was done by our Lord so we should likewise keep of work and any form of labour on that day. It is meant to be a day when we lean back, put our feet up and say like Bruno Mars: "today I don't feel like doing anything...". So where did the issue of worship and going to church on that day come from? Why do we make one who missed church on Sunday feel like he/she is most definitely hell bound? Cos as far as I know, that day was made for rest and nothing more. We've got six days in which to work, labour and worship God. The seventh day should be spent resting, lounging and in total recreation.

Now, if someone was to ask you innocently to define rest, I am willing to bet my last marble that "Worship" wont be among the words that would make up that definition. And if you were to go ahead to name places one can achieve rest, you'd definitely include your room, house, even your bed, a hotel, a park, e.t.c. in your list. So what is all the fuss about someone observing the day of rest in the comfort of any of the above mentioned places?

When it comes to worship, I am firmly of the opinion that worship should have no particular day or time. Our entire existence, activities and associations should be aimed at glorifying our LORD! We must not actually go to church in order to achieve worship. Yes, I do agree that it is advisable to congregate and share our thoughts and prayers, but it must not be on that day of rest, must it?

Anyways, this is my own thought on the matter, and it doesn't in anyway advocate any particular belief...The truth is, this thought came to mind after I returned from church service last Sunday.

The "buy me" trend!

Please no one should take this the wrong way, but our universities have more girls than guys and same goes for our secondary schools. Now with all these qualifications, why do the ladies still look for a guy to ask for everything? Do our ladies only have pride in bed? Do their brains only process men and sugar daddy? Cos its a rather disturbing trend in Nigeria…If there is a reason, then please do tell me peeps, cos I truly want to know…I know a few female CEOs, and these ladies have proven to be an exception to the buy-namic group, but that doesn’t mean that the errant population isn’t alarming.

KABIRU SOKOTO RE-ARRESTED BY NIGERIA’S SECURITY AGENCIES

KABIRU SOKOTO RE-ARRESTED BY NIGERIA’S SECURITY AGENCIES: Unconfirmed reports have it that Kabiru Sokoto the Boko Haram king pin who escaped from police custody has been re-arrested ...

Canary Bird!: The Firing Squad Joke President GEJ must not read. Written by 'UNKNOWN'

Canary Bird!: The Firing Squad Joke President GEJ must not read. Written by 'UNKNOWN'