According to Teresa Okure (SHCJ), “the standpoint
from which we view an object or person determines to a large extent, what we
see in the person on or object”. She went on to say that “if we change our
standpoint, or move the object/person around, we get a different view of the
same object or person”. Having noted that, it would be important to point out
that an individual’s standpoint or point of view is not independent. It is
hinged on personal ideologies, idiosyncrasies, prejudice, orientation and societal
influences.
The above observations are important for this
analogy on today’s woman.
Often times, depending on where one looks, what one
reads, or where one finds him or herself, one can’t help hearing or reading of
young ladies being classified as materialistic, immoral, lazy, opportunists,
promiscuous and so on, and so forth. These classification of ladies today are
not necessarily attributed to a few, but are used to erroneously generalize.
The aim of this write up is not to dispute that
there are actually some ladies who rightly fall under that classification,
rather, it is aimed at, among other things, to highlight why some men (and a
few women) who are guilty of such generalization actually come across ladies
who leave such negative impressions about the whole. The reasons are very
simple; point of view and personal attitudes.
A lot of us have a point of view that is negatively
skewed, and this might be attributed to operating in a system/society where
things tend to go wrong than right. Such people see everything from a negative
standpoint. Another possible reason for having a negative point of view towards
the female gender might be due to cultural and religious indoctrination.
In the aspect of personal attitudes, it could be
observed that some men who classify all women in such manner are morally
bankrupt, possess low self esteem, lack life purpose and merely exist. Equipped
with such attributes, they can only attract or see ladies that are like
themselves, simply because like attracts like, unlike gender where opposites
attract.
Based on these simple analysis of a couple of
factors that can prompt someone to view females wrongly, the irrationality
behind such erroneous generalization becomes quite glaring, which makes their
opinion to be seen as void of reason.
As earlier stated, our point of view determines what
we see. This writer prides himself in having a point of view that enables him
to identify value in an environment where most people see trash. The writer
holds a completely different point of view on today’s woman. Moved by the late
Chinua Achebe’s saying, “If you don't like someone's story, write your own”, he
has decided to write about a few of the type of ladies he has, and continues to
come across, with the hope of awakening the sensibilities of the reader that such ladies
live among us.
This write up is definitely not about the Michelle
Obamas, the Ellen Johnson Sirleafs, nor the Condoleezza Rices we read about in
the newspapers or see on TV. It is about ladies among us that could pass off as
the average lady at a cursory glance. It’s about those ladies that possess
similar qualities like the biblical Esther. They are humble, gentle, tender and
submissive; yet are achieving great feats that would definitely intimidate men
with the wrong mindsets.
Esther is being referred to in this write-up
simply because, these days, most feminists and women liberationists are of the opinion
that women can only make a mark when they assume the attributes of men. The
writer finds such ideology not only disturbing, but also offensive to the women
it is actually meant to motivate, because it implies that women can’t achieve
anything with the tools given to them by nature. They need the tools given to
men. Well, we all remember how that worked out for Queen Vashti (in the same
book of Esther).
It is no error of nature that women are
biologically, emotionally and physiologically different from men. Such
difference, as perceived by the writer, does not indicate weakness as most
people tend to believe. A difference can only be a sign of weakness when misapplied,
or not applied at all.
The ladies mentioned below, and a host of others too
numerous to mention, quash the generally held misconception on a daily basis.
Arinola Oluwa (@areenolar): The writer has been
friends with Arin (as she keeps reminding her friends) for a little over a year
now (thanks to Social Media), and only recently met her in person. All who have
come across Arin would attest to the grace which she exudes in her carriage.
She is quite an intelligent young lady with a captivating smile, great sense of
humour, and above all, very simple. Arin, though very conscious of her
self-worth at all times, is ever so humble. She is one of the few ladies who
are successfully maintaining a career in a male-dominated corporate world. She
also finds time to write, and you can read some of her thoughts on her personal
blog.
Edidiong Udoeyop (@afiauyaishyne): Didi has been
known by the writer for about 4 months and they actually met a month after
becoming friends. She is nothing but a brilliant lady with a great sense of
humour, though you don’t get to see that at a first glance. Rather, when you
meet Didi for the first time, you see someone who looks kind of delicate, calm
and somewhat naïve. But wait till you both get talking, she switches to one who
is highly intellectual. Didi is one of few ladies who are loyal fans of Tupac.
She can actually recite 80% of his lyrics off the top of her head. She is a
practicing lawyer, and also pursues her private PR business.
Laide Olabode (@exschoolnerd): Now, Laide is one
lady that every Nigerian who is active on Social Media must have come across.
If you haven’t heard, or read anything from, or about Laide on any relevant
Social Media platform, then your online activities must be suspect.
The writer has known Laide for about 7 yrs now,
since 2006. Laide was first spotted on Nairaland, then on to (the late) Hi5, to
Facebook, and then to Twitter. It is with regret that the writer states that he
is yet to meet Laide. Some people (men in particular) have described Laide as a
towering female giant, standing somewhere over 6ft. Well, if you all must know,
she has a sense of humour that is way taller than she is, with an IQ of the
likes of Mozart and Newton. She is simply a lady of many parts. As far as
Social Media is concerned, she remains the most reliable and responsible Social
Media publicist. How she manages to balance her corporate work with PR
activities, blogging, and just being simple at heart, is beyond imagination.
She is presently with Trace Urban, after a few years with MTV Networks. She has
successfully managed PR activities for MTV Networks, Trace Urban, Spinlet, and
SURE-P, just to mention a few. She was the one behind the “Sunday at the Bay”
activities a few years back. She often expresses her humorous and sarcastic
wit on her personal blog.
Ifeoma Nwoke (@pajintus): The writer has been
friends with Pajin for about 5 yrs now, but only got to meet her in person in
November of 2011, in Lagos State. Pajin is best described as someone who is
strong-willed. She doesn’t believe that anything she sets her mind to cannot be
achieved. The writer met Pajin at a time she was making arrangements for the 2nd
edition of “Facebook Friends Party”. She was actually ill at the time and would
have been bed-ridden if she were someone else, but her drive was such that
everyone who assisted her in one way or the other to make the event possible,
drew from her energy, instead of the other way round. Despite her strong-will, what
wins people over is her humility, friendly disposition and simplicity. At a
first glance, she might leave you with the impression that she is clueless.
That impression fades away faster than dusk fades at the rising of the sun, the
moment you start interacting with her. Pajin is the brain behind “Facebook
Friends Party”, a social activity that was specifically designed to curb the
malaise of encountering fraudsters on Facebook. It aims at getting people to
get to meet their Facebook friends one on one. She is the C.E.O of PAJIN
CONCEPT and she is into Event Management, Interior Decorations and Brand
Promotions.
Maureen Nwachukwu (@mornacky): Maureen has been
friends with the writer for a very long time. Maureen is simply a hilarious
character. She could get the Devil laughing out loud. Her sense of humour is
off the charts. But beneath all that sense of humour, lies a very intelligent,
analytical and creative mind. Maureen is mischievously multilingual, with a
professional grasp of German and French languages among others. She manages to balance
her corporate work with her private professional language-interpreting
services.
Ugo Chiori (@AdaOhafia1): Snazzydawn is someone that
exudes brilliance, creativity, gentility and spirituality. The writer has known
her for about 6 years. Though he hasn’t met her, he finds time to keep up with
her achievements. Sometime last year, while the writer was in Lagos, he wasn’t
surprised to see SnazzyDawn on NTA’s Young Entrepreneurs that was aired on
their satellite channel on DSTV. She is the MD/C.E.O of Cupcakesdotcom in Uyo
and Abuja. Her cakes are on display at Silverbird Galleria, Abuja.
Susan Ekpoh (@baybbootz) Of all the ladies
mentioned here, Susan is the youngest of the lot. The writer has known Susan
for about 6 years. Her enthusiasm, passion for excellence, sense of purpose and
commitment to activities never ceases to amaze him. She is a very young lady
who just cannot fit into any negative description of today’s woman. At such a
young age, she is an employer of labour, the C.E.O of Metro Domestics, while pursuing
her studies to become a certified professional pilot. Take a bow.
Apart from these ladies mentioned above, the writer
has recently come across Grace Ihejiamaizu, who was named among Google’s 12
Brightest Young Minds in 2011 and recognized by the US State Department as
an International Exchange Alumni Member for the Month of September 2012, among
other honours. She set up the Raising Young Productive Entrepreneurs (RYPE)
initiative that has trained, engaged and empowered over 350 young people. She
runs www.opportunitydesk.org
(@OpportunityDesk).
There are also people like Blossom Nnodim
(@blcompere) – founder of Blossom Blcompere; and Esther Agbarakwe
(@estherclimate), the great women behind the #AdopATweep initiative and other
initiatives.
These are ladies that just don’t exist as a function
of men. Though they are all independent, high achieving ladies conquering the
so-called “man’s world”, they also possess those biblical qualities and virtues
that would enable them carry out the roles of wives and mothers. These ladies
are not the so called immoral or materialistic ladies. They are unassuming, virtuous,
gentle, caring, friendly and empathetic. This makes the writer certain that
they would be submissive, subservient and supportive as wives, while being
protective, instructive and educative as mothers.
Ladies like these exist in every corner of the
earth, depending on where and how one looks. Coming across such ladies and
their likes is made possible by possessing a point of view very different from
that which most people possess today. Remember that it is what one is looking
out for that one sees. This write-up is aimed at changing the wrong perception
some people have of today’s women; and also to challenge the few ladies who
create the wrong impression that some misguided fellows use to judge the whole,
to re-model their characters and attitudes into something that would be
applauded and emulated.
